A Little Q&A without the A

Hearing about other people loving others in a self-sacrificing way makes my heart beat a little faster and my eyes tear up. I want to be like that. Am I? I know that's the kind of person that God wants me to be, but am I learning from Him how to do that? Am I using what he has given me to help others? I don't know.

As I have alluded to in the previous post, I don't think I'm using my time very well. Who am I helping by staying at home every day. I'm not even helping my family around the house much and I'm the one that's here all the time. What am I doing with my education? What do I even want to do with it in the long run? I need a little upheaval in my life. Less TV and more time spent being loving and helpful to myself and others. I think I need to get some things straight before I can give fully of myself to those around me. I don't want to use that as an excuse, though. There is a fine line between keeping yourself healthy and just being selfish about your time. I don't think I've got that one quite right yet.

Sometimes I wish God would just give me all the answers... but He doesn't work that way. Most of the time it doesn't seem like He has a specific answer anyway. It's usually, "Follow me. Be with me. Keep talking to me." Those are good enough, I guess.

Epic struggle against heat and dial up internet

I've been back in Sacramento for a little while now and already a lot has happened.

My mom got married. I was here to help her move her belongings to her new home and help set up for the reception and calm raw nerves on the day of. Of course, it is an unusual experience seeing your mom get married, but it seems like she is very happy and that makes me feel happy, too.

There is also the continual battle of trying to get all of my possessions to fit back into my dad's little house (the house I grew up in) where it was already crowded with just my sister and dad. I'm back to sharing a room and closet and drawers and clothes. Another fun tidbit about the house... it doesn't have any air conditioning. Current temperature in Sacramento: 98 degrees. That's why I'm hanging out in a coffee shop. The coffee shop has wi-fi, something the little house is also missing.

I'm currently unemployed, which means I spend a lot of time reading Les Miserables (because I still haven't finished it after 3 months now) and watching Firefly with my sister. I love the theme song, by the way. My social calendar is getting full, but I won't have money to do fun things for much longer unless I find a job.

I like being with my family again. I'm getting settled, but still trying to figure out how to use my time well and be motivated to get things done. Hopefully my life will have more structure some time soon.