Hearing about other people loving others in a self-sacrificing way makes my heart beat a little faster and my eyes tear up. I want to be like that. Am I? I know that's the kind of person that God wants me to be, but am I learning from Him how to do that? Am I using what he has given me to help others? I don't know.
As I have alluded to in the previous post, I don't think I'm using my time very well. Who am I helping by staying at home every day. I'm not even helping my family around the house much and I'm the one that's here all the time. What am I doing with my education? What do I even want to do with it in the long run? I need a little upheaval in my life. Less TV and more time spent being loving and helpful to myself and others. I think I need to get some things straight before I can give fully of myself to those around me. I don't want to use that as an excuse, though. There is a fine line between keeping yourself healthy and just being selfish about your time. I don't think I've got that one quite right yet.
Sometimes I wish God would just give me all the answers... but He doesn't work that way. Most of the time it doesn't seem like He has a specific answer anyway. It's usually, "Follow me. Be with me. Keep talking to me." Those are good enough, I guess.
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